I just found out that last week, SpikeTV is offering $10 million for proof of Bigfoot - and I had just worked out the details to posting today. I guess I don't have to use my own moneyh now. Oh well, here's my X-prize criteria:
A Bounty on Bigfoot
At
times, when science has needed to evolve in a certain direction, incentives
have been use to spur imagination and dedication towards a goal. While possibly not as impactful as
calculating longitude, flying the Atlantic, or creating a commercial spaceflight
to humanity, I propose the establishment of a prize to solving the biggest
question in cryptozoology: whether Sasquatch/Yeti exist. Despite widespread sightings in North America
and the Himalayans, direct physical evidence of an undiscovered, giant primate
species is lacking; but perhaps with a public X-prize, evidence may be more
actively sought.
Sadly,
species can often only become definitely known to the scientific community by
either live capture, or more commonly in the past, dead specimens. Until there is a specimen on display or
submitted to long-term analysis, rumours of any impressive yet undiscovered
species are simply rumours. While one
can speculate that sightings of an 8 foot primate walking in the woods is
either a delusion or mistaken identity, it seems odd that sightings in
different areas and times would have many similarities. To provoke a search for a settlement of the issue, I hereby propose a:
1 million dollar (USD$) prize for a
complete Sasquatch body delivered in good shape to the nearest university (or other
educational institution) to where the specimen was obtained; 2 million total if
the species is alive and in good health upon delivery. (An additional 10% of the above sum to be
given to the institution as a donation in recognition of their assistance.)
Since I
have not won the lottery yet, and my money-making skills are barely sufficient
to keep my family going, I propose that a fund for donations be set up, to be
held in trust, until such time as someone submits a suitable specimen, at which
time, after DNA and other extensive tests prove conclusive, they will be given
the $1 million/$2 million alive prize money – the “Bounty.” Any left-over monies from the “Trust” would
be donated to suitable causes to protect habitat in which the creature was
living.
The
prize will be given out if ALL
of the following criteria are met:
1)
We are looking for a bipedal specimen of a 7
foot tall or more ape-like creature over 500 lbs covered in dark fur
with large feet that is not currently known to the scientific community.
Although known by various names around the world, it will be hereafter referred
to a “Sasquatch” or “Yeti”.
2)
The specimen must be intact and well-preserved enough
to be studied and catalogued.
3)
The specimen
is to be brought to a university, lab, zoo, school, museum, or other scientific
institution for examination and preservation.
4)
The above institution will alert the local and
world-wide media and present the specimen publicly for the media and scientific
community to examine.
5)
The media will alert the `Trust` and inform us
of the existence of a suitable specimen.
6)
The `Trust`s representatives (perhaps me) will
visit the institution and take custody of the specimen for extensive testing
and confirmation. If the specimen is
judged appropriate to the Bounty requirements, the finder will be presented
with $1/2 million USD and the institution will be presented with 10% of that
amount.
7)
If the specimen is not appropriate, it will be
returned to the institution.
8)
Presentation of the monies will be in a public
and videotaped forum. Anonymity will not
be granted.
9)
Upon payment of the Bounty, the `Trust` will
have the option of permanent custody of the specimen to exhibit as it sees fit.
10)
This offer is void where prohibited.
My hope if that a living specimen
could be examined and tested before being returned to the wild. Comparisons of DNA and skeletal structure are
intended to see its evolutionary history and any relation to existing or
prehistorical primates. Although the
species might be extremely rare, it is a species and not an individual, so the
hope is that the loss of one specimen will actually spur humans to preserve the
natural habitat for the specimen`s whole species.
Frequently Asked Questions:
``Why are you looking for such a tall (over 7 foot) and heavy specimen? I
see little ones all the time``
Bigfoot
is usually described as being very tall, bipedal, and massive; bigger than any
known ape species. It is hoped that
asking for an adult specimen will diminish the number of hoaxs and other
species being offered. If you have a 7
foot tall body-builder as a friend who wants to dress up in a fur suit and walk
in the woods, you need to warn him that a hunter could shoot first and ask
questions later. (If you do find a
smaller but possibly suitable specimen, please bring to a suitable institution
ASAP – the Trust may decide to honor the Bounty or a smaller amount.)
“Why are you offering so much
money?”
If the amount is
substantial, there may be more incentive to obtain a specimen and not decide to
let it pass by.
“I think there should be more
money, because maybe I could exhibit the specimen for profit.”
Do what you want,
but you will not have any recognition or monies from the Trust. We just beg that you let the scientific
community examine the specimen thoroughly.
“I have a Yeti specimen already, it is hidden in
my house and I will let you take a look for $5, but it must be kept private.”
No,
this is to advance scientific knowledge.
If you are not willing to show the specimen publicly as described above,
you will get nothing from us.
“Why do I have to bring it to a university or
educational place? Maybe they don’t
want it.”
This
prevents hoaxers from even attempting to waste our time. Any suitable institution should have access to
a freezer or cooler or access to a lot of ice in exchange for a huge
donation. You and they will be
world-famous and will definitely profit from this. If you bring it to an institution
that is promised 100,000 to 200,000 USD to just preserve the sample and call
the media, and they reject it, go to the next institution. (A high school science lab or cafeteria
cooler would do if you are desperate.)
“Why does the institution call the media?”
To
ensure that you are not wasting the media ‘s time with a hoax. This will be world-wide news when it gets
known.
“Why can’t I or the media call you?”
To
ensure you are not wasting our time with a hoax. If we see it on the major networks, we will
find you. We’ll look for the institution
with a huge crowd of media and scientists and bystanders going “Wow, it’s
really true!”
“What if my specimen is not complete?”
Bring
it to the institution anyways. Any
evidence is good evidence. If you are on
the news one day saying you had a complete skeleton of a Yeti in your closet
but it was missing a toe so you threw it away, we will spend our remaining
years cursing your name.
“So this Bounty is ‘Dead or Alive’ - are you saying I should shoot a Yeti if I
see one?”
We are not saying or suggesting
anything. Our best hope is
someone finds a recently deceased specimen lying preserved in a cave. You have to comply with the laws in your area
at all times. Some areas recognize
Sasquatch as indigenous species and are protected there. Ironically, until proven to exist, most
species do not have legal protection. We
are not responsible for any actions you take in pursuit of the Bounty. If you commit an illegal act, we will notify
the legal authorities in your area immediately.
We do not encourage any potentially harmful or illegal activities. If you start shooting at shadows in the
woods, you may fatally injury someone and you will most likely spend years in
prison.
“What if I “accidentally” shoot a bear out of
season or my neighbour’s pet orangutang in the woods, thinking it is a
Sasquatch?”
Please
turn yourself in to your local law enforcement office.
“Any ideas on how to capture a specimen alive?”
We
have no idea on how one captures and detains a 500+ lb primate with more
strength than a football team. If you
are going for the live capture option, please be certain you can keep the
specimen alive and healthy at your local institution/zoo until the media
arrive.
“Any hunting ideas?”
That’s
why we are offering the Bounty prize – to get the people who live in areas with
sightings to come up with capture options.
Infra-red cameras on drones, food lures, a big butterfly net – you have
to do the thinking on this one.
“I think Bigfoot is a mystical and spiritual being
that cannot be harmed or captured... but I plan to disrupt anyone who wants to
bother it”.
If
the creature is not of this Earth, then I have faith it is in no danger. I personally would not want to mess with
anyone who seeks to mess with a 500 lb primate.
Perhaps lobby your local government to declare the Sasquatch a protected
species.
“I know where a specimen is but it is hard to get
to.”
This
is a case of ‘Habeas corpus’ – you must present the body to get the
money. If your friends or local moving company won’t help you for a cut of the
money, I question the existence of the sample.
Please present one and prove me wrong.
