A Bounty on Bigfoot

I just found out that last week, SpikeTV is offering $10 million for proof of Bigfoot - and I had just worked out the details to posting today. I guess I don't have to use my own moneyh now.  Oh well, here's my X-prize criteria:


A Bounty on Bigfoot
                At times, when science has needed to evolve in a certain direction, incentives have been use to spur imagination and dedication towards a goal.  While possibly not as impactful as calculating longitude, flying the Atlantic, or creating a commercial spaceflight to humanity, I propose the establishment of a prize to solving the biggest question in cryptozoology: whether Sasquatch/Yeti exist.  Despite widespread sightings in North America and the Himalayans, direct physical evidence of an undiscovered, giant primate species is lacking; but perhaps with a public X-prize, evidence may be more actively sought.

                Sadly, species can often only become definitely known to the scientific community by either live capture, or more commonly in the past, dead specimens.  Until there is a specimen on display or submitted to long-term analysis, rumours of any impressive yet undiscovered species are simply rumours.  While one can speculate that sightings of an 8 foot primate walking in the woods is either a delusion or mistaken identity, it seems odd that sightings in different areas and times would have many similarities.  To provoke a search for a settlement  of the issue, I hereby propose a:

                1 million dollar (USD$) prize for a complete Sasquatch body delivered in good shape to the nearest university (or other educational institution) to where the specimen was obtained; 2 million total if the species is alive and in good health upon delivery.  (An additional 10% of the above sum to be given to the institution as a donation in recognition of their assistance.)

                Since I have not won the lottery yet, and my money-making skills are barely sufficient to keep my family going, I propose that a fund for donations be set up, to be held in trust, until such time as someone submits a suitable specimen, at which time, after DNA and other extensive tests prove conclusive, they will be given the $1 million/$2 million alive prize money – the “Bounty.”  Any left-over monies from the “Trust” would be donated to suitable causes to protect habitat in which the creature was living.

                The prize will be given out if ALL of the following criteria are met:

1)      We are looking for a bipedal specimen of a 7 foot tall or more ape-like creature over 500 lbs covered in dark fur with large feet that is not currently known to the scientific community. Although known by various names around the world, it will be hereafter referred to a “Sasquatch” or “Yeti”.

2)      The specimen must be intact and well-preserved enough to be studied and catalogued. 

3)       The specimen is to be brought to a university, lab, zoo, school, museum, or other scientific institution for examination and preservation. 

4)      The above institution will alert the local and world-wide media and present the specimen publicly for the media and scientific community to examine.

5)      The media will alert the `Trust` and inform us of the existence of a suitable specimen.

6)      The `Trust`s representatives (perhaps me) will visit the institution and take custody of the specimen for extensive testing and confirmation.  If the specimen is judged appropriate to the Bounty requirements, the finder will be presented with $1/2 million USD and the institution will be presented with 10% of that amount.

7)      If the specimen is not appropriate, it will be returned to the institution.

8)      Presentation of the monies will be in a public and videotaped forum.  Anonymity will not be granted. 

9)      Upon payment of the Bounty, the `Trust` will have the option of permanent custody of the specimen to exhibit as it sees fit.

10)   This offer is void where prohibited.

 

My hope if that a living specimen could be examined and tested before being returned to the wild.  Comparisons of DNA and skeletal structure are intended to see its evolutionary history and any relation to existing or prehistorical primates.  Although the species might be extremely rare, it is a species and not an individual, so the hope is that the loss of one specimen will actually spur humans to preserve the natural habitat for the specimen`s whole species. 

Frequently Asked Questions:

``Why are you looking for such a tall (over 7 foot) and heavy specimen?  I see little ones all the time``

                Bigfoot is usually described as being very tall, bipedal, and massive; bigger than any known ape species.  It is hoped that asking for an adult specimen will diminish the number of hoaxs and other species being offered.  If you have a 7 foot tall body-builder as a friend who wants to dress up in a fur suit and walk in the woods, you need to warn him that a hunter could shoot first and ask questions later.  (If you do find a smaller but possibly suitable specimen, please bring to a suitable institution ASAP – the Trust may decide to honor the Bounty or a smaller amount.) 

“Why are you offering so much money?”

                If the amount is substantial, there may be more incentive to obtain a specimen and not decide to let it pass by. 

“I think there should be more money, because maybe I could exhibit the specimen for profit.”

                Do what you want, but you will not have any recognition or monies from the Trust.  We just beg that you let the scientific community examine the specimen thoroughly.

“I have a Yeti specimen already, it is hidden in my house and I will let you take a look for $5, but it must be kept private.”

                No, this is to advance scientific knowledge.  If you are not willing to show the specimen publicly as described above, you will get nothing from us.

“Why do I have to bring it to a university or educational place?   Maybe they don’t want it.”

                This prevents hoaxers from even attempting to waste our time.  Any suitable institution should have access to a freezer or cooler or access to a lot of ice in exchange for a huge donation.  You and they will be world-famous and will definitely profit from this. If you bring it to an institution that is promised 100,000 to 200,000 USD to just preserve the sample and call the media, and they reject it, go to the next institution.  (A high school science lab or cafeteria cooler would do if you are desperate.)

“Why does the institution call the media?”

                To ensure that you are not wasting the media ‘s time with a hoax.  This will be world-wide news when it gets known.

“Why can’t I or the media call you?”

                To ensure you are not wasting our time with a hoax.  If we see it on the major networks, we will find you.  We’ll look for the institution with a huge crowd of media and scientists and bystanders going “Wow, it’s really true!”

“What if my specimen is not complete?”

                Bring it to the institution anyways.  Any evidence is good evidence.  If you are on the news one day saying you had a complete skeleton of a Yeti in your closet but it was missing a toe so you threw it away, we will spend our remaining years cursing your name.

“So this Bounty is ‘Dead or Alive’  - are you saying I should shoot a Yeti if I see one?”

                We are not saying or suggesting anything.  Our best hope is someone finds a recently deceased specimen lying preserved in a cave.  You have to comply with the laws in your area at all times.  Some areas recognize Sasquatch as indigenous species and are protected there.  Ironically, until proven to exist, most species do not have legal protection.  We are not responsible for any actions you take in pursuit of the Bounty.  If you commit an illegal act, we will notify the legal authorities in your area immediately.  We do not encourage any potentially harmful or illegal activities.  If you start shooting at shadows in the woods, you may fatally injury someone and you will most likely spend years in prison. 

“What if I “accidentally” shoot a bear out of season or my neighbour’s pet orangutang in the woods, thinking it is a Sasquatch?”

                Please turn yourself in to your local law enforcement office.

“Any ideas on how to capture a specimen alive?”

                We have no idea on how one captures and detains a 500+ lb primate with more strength than a football team.  If you are going for the live capture option, please be certain you can keep the specimen alive and healthy at your local institution/zoo until the media arrive. 

“Any hunting ideas?”

                That’s why we are offering the Bounty prize – to get the people who live in areas with sightings to come up with capture options.  Infra-red cameras on drones, food lures, a big butterfly net – you have to do the thinking on this one. 

“I think Bigfoot is a mystical and spiritual being that cannot be harmed or captured... but I plan to disrupt anyone who wants to bother it”.

                If the creature is not of this Earth, then I have faith it is in no danger.  I personally would not want to mess with anyone who seeks to mess with a 500 lb primate.  Perhaps lobby your local government to declare the Sasquatch a protected species. 

“I know where a specimen is but it is hard to get to.”

                This is a case of ‘Habeas corpus’ – you must present the body to get the money. If your friends or local moving company won’t help you for a cut of the money, I question the existence of the sample.  Please present one and prove me wrong.