Thursday, June 14, 2007

Addicted to Yummy Mummies

Ok, I'm hooked.
When you are a young man, you have a 'thing' for the girls in your high school - not so much a thing as a penis constantly and painfully erect... but I digress.
And then in college when all the young women are beautiful, brilliant, at the top of their game and exploring their options in life, and dating someone else - you are just happy to be in such a sea of beauty in hopes of hooking up for awhile.
And as a 20-something in a steady relationship, you enjoy the loveliness that is SHE, while avoiding that horribly high fertility of that age and have a lot of fun.
In the 30s, clock is ticking so you get pregnant and enjoy all the changes in the body babyful - she feels like a truck but guys like trucks - especially trucks with big hooters. You go to all the baby-events and clothing sales and notice the preggernauts - 'yep, knocked that one up... nice and fertile that one...'
After the kids are out and everything fades to normal, you get hooked on Yummy Mummies. (my phrase) You can be at the playground and see a lady with 3 kids and go 'wow - she's lovely, fertile obviously, able to look after kids - come to my tent, wo-man and cook me food'.... and you tell your wife you think like this and she slits your throat with a father's day card.
Of course, you will always notice a young aerobics instructor walking by, but the good news is that as you and your partner age, you will click for each other. (Good thing that women think older guys are distinguished.... pushing that walker around)
I am going to be a lot of trouble one day in the old folks home if Barb passes before me. "Hey Grammie, you, me, bottle of geritol and we can show each other our photo albums..."

I'm about to read this to Barb now- so if you never hear from me again....