Sunday, July 22, 2007

An Apology to JK Rowling

I hereby openly admit that JK has redeemed herself. After suffering through the last 2 books - overly long, hopeless redundant, accomplishing in 600 pages what 300-400 could have done - but you can't edit THE richest and powerful author on the planet
- the Deathly Hollows - up to page 202 anyways, has been very well done. Her content is very similar to some of the earlier on-line spoilers but much better done. A few stupid things - but so far worth the money.
I'm glad she's not sucking anymore - because it is a poor dealer who completely exploits their addicted customers.....

and face it, we're hooked. Barb (re-reading the Half-blood Prince before she moves on) and I talked about HP for hours the other night - way past midnight.

And my life is pathetic, why?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

How to read the new Harry Potter book

based on the last 3 books in the series, I offer the following predictive tips:

It will be 700 pages, with about 200 that could easily have been editted away if JK wasn't the richest woman on earth

Everytime someone mentions 'the night Harry's parents died' - flip forward 7 pages and resume reading - you won't have missed anything Dumbledore (or McGonigle) won't explain it all to you at the end

The smallest detail at the beginning will be important later - the paper clip on Harry's test paper will turn into the key to the universe and weren't you stupid for not noticing!!

There will be all kinds of interesting characters with tons of backstory introduced - and they will quickly be killed or completely irrelevant.

Locking a young boy into a closet for 11 years won't warp him at all but will make him really kind-hearted, so you can forgive him for whining - but skip forward 2-3 pages everytime he says 'you don't understand!'

Harry will completely luck out or have Hermeni save him - because he really is a major cheese weenie and the true ultimate power in the universe is = NEVILLE!!! All hail Neville!

Everyone else will die and all those survive will simply go on and go 'tsk tsk, stiff upper lip, that one...'

It's a mammal thing

I was thinking about something.... kids... life... humans... boobs...

Some guy in the paper was talking about how the evidence for global warming is unclear.... and maybe it is still... but y'know, logically, you can't expect to pump out the amount of pollution we do, and pave arable landlike we do, and not expect a result of some kind. If nature really loves all the CO2 in the atmosphere, wouldn't plants all be 8 feet taller by now? When you try to explain something to a 5 year old "Well, honey, we put a lot of pollution into the air, you know the smoke from the back of the car, and it goes into the clouds and makes the land warmer and you may feel the effects of this in 30 years or sooner big time..." it really makes you think.

The reason mammals took over after the assassin comet froze the dinosaurs is we are very adaptable, furry, with boobs to feed the young and ensure the survival of relatively fewer young, whereas the insect or reptile way is to have a clutch of eggs and hope at least 1% make it to breed someday... repeat as necessary.

One thing I know from having kids - "It's about the species!" It ain't about you any more - you are part of a big chain of being you weren't conscious of and are shooting your DNA into the future - and you would do anything to help them along... except walk to the store or buy one less SUV...

Ethically, I realized that ANYTHING that increases the reproduction of humans is good ie: cloning, fertility things... so harming productive females is abhorrent. Genital mutilation in Africa is probably one reason why the oldest cultures on the planet aren't exactly ruling the globe at the moment. Any island culture that feeds the fertile females to King Kong is not exactly going to out-reproduce their neighbours who sacrifice males or goats or whatever handy...

the Olympian priests used to do animal sacrifices and say the gods just loved the innards and fatty parts, leaving all that yummy steak-parts left over for the tribes... how convenient....

so head on out to that singles bar and knock someone up - you can say you are doing your part for the species.... provided you stick around and help raise the kid which further increases survival rate....