Sunday, March 10, 2013

In response to the GSA debate...

                One night a carload of teenagers died in a DUI accident.  Everyone was upset and after an alumni noted the lack of a Teens Against Drunk Driving (TADD) chapter at the schools, the superintendant demanded that all schools allow for a TADD in school.

                Most schools agreed with it, except for the one in the town where the big employer was Budweiser.   The brew master had heard how in some places with TADD, the schools had banned any alcohol at Safe Grad, had run campaigns toughing drinking laws, and refused advertising by the company in the school.  The brew master called the local principal and reminded him that the football team, the score board, and the stadium were all paid for by his company, whose policy of ‘Please use our products responsibly’ should be enough. 

                The principal mentioned this at a staff meeting so of course, within 24 hours, there was an angry protest outside the school; one side yelling “Sell-out! You want our kids to die on your booze!”, the other yelling “Why don’t we just do that ‘responsibly’ thing?”  The superintendant was called and both sides flipped her car and a news van. 

                The superintendant’s daughter, who had been in TADD before but dropped out due to boredom, got in a car with the principal’s son and drove around, smoking marijuana.  Another car driven by  the brew master’s son ran a stopsign, because he was texting,  and totalled both cars. 

                In the aftermath, a foreign company bought the company, fired all the employees because they couldn’t read or write, and everyone moved away, so the schools were the safest albeit abandoned buildings in town.