How to read the new Harry Potter book

based on the last 3 books in the series, I offer the following predictive tips:

It will be 700 pages, with about 200 that could easily have been editted away if JK wasn't the richest woman on earth

Everytime someone mentions 'the night Harry's parents died' - flip forward 7 pages and resume reading - you won't have missed anything Dumbledore (or McGonigle) won't explain it all to you at the end

The smallest detail at the beginning will be important later - the paper clip on Harry's test paper will turn into the key to the universe and weren't you stupid for not noticing!!

There will be all kinds of interesting characters with tons of backstory introduced - and they will quickly be killed or completely irrelevant.

Locking a young boy into a closet for 11 years won't warp him at all but will make him really kind-hearted, so you can forgive him for whining - but skip forward 2-3 pages everytime he says 'you don't understand!'

Harry will completely luck out or have Hermeni save him - because he really is a major cheese weenie and the true ultimate power in the universe is = NEVILLE!!! All hail Neville!

Everyone else will die and all those survive will simply go on and go 'tsk tsk, stiff upper lip, that one...'