Cool things in the Bible - or How to Skip the 'Begats'

This is weird for me - I actually am appreciating my elementary school for reading a section of the Bible everyday when I was in elementary school - it makes getting through the Old Testament easier. I picked up the Bible for Dummies book (my daughter asks - 'Are you a Dummy, Dad?' - of course I am!) and I think it is a good idea for kids to learn the Classics - which means the O.T.

I mean, several Giants, a Dragon, satyrs, and a few monsters - no wonder C.S. Lewis was able to do Narnia without a theological struggle - there's some cool stuff in here - never mind all the violence and incest and revenge and constant warfare. Lots of drunkenness and hookers too!

I especially like finding out what different things mean and the history and.... ok - before anyone gets too mad at me - I KNOW IT SAYS " " and therefore you should realize it means exactly....
Gotta remember - I'm a heathen who has no pretentions about being 'righteous' and if it weren't for Jesus, I'd be still slaughtering wayfarers in Europe and thinking Thor makes the sky rumber. So give me a few breaks when I say 'let me think about all this' and then hear the researchers say 'oh, that actually means B, not just A'. Too often you can interpret anything to justify your own views (Churchianity) vs the Truth (Christianity). CS Lewis said that - and I always thought he was bang on.

Can't beat the Old King James Version for poetry though - Shakespeare's day, of course. Great words. Can't take it at face value- or I'd be 'kicking against the pricks!"

And us Protestants don't like the Apocrapha because of using the Greek translations instead of the Hebrew ones and even the Hebrew thought they weren't the most Divine stories.... but I disagree! Daniel really comes off as a good guy in the Apocrapha - but come on! Some of the OT books have a Divine stamp on them - like Song of Solomon and Ecclesiastics and Psalms - and people quote them and say 'vanity (or vapour) - all is vanity' and that is divine knowledge? That's on par with 'God made the world' and 'thou shalt not kill'? I'm a bad person for not wanting to start following every old law ---- and even editting it.

I find the OT fascinating - but I really don't see that I'm going to sacrifice goats - and if I am as wise as Solomon - I can covet lots of women and marry a good number of them too - and I can sing songs that were actually written about other deities.

I should do a book - 'Cool things in the Bible for Heathens' and it would be a great way to get kids to look at the thing. I wonder if anyone ever combined translations - use the King James poetry when it fits and plain language for the obscure parts.