I AM United Church (like the Molson beer commercial)

Y'know.... I always thought sermons should be like beer commercials:

Hey,

I`m not a charismatic

Or a hippie

And I don`t live in a gated community

Or own a Hummer

With a fish on the back of it

And I don`t know

Thomas Aquinas, or St Augustine, or John Wesley

Although I`m sure they wrote real good

I have a Moderator, not a Pope

She speaks on lots of issues

But no one wants to really listen these days

(But someone has to preach the social gospel)

I can proudly say we were touting gay rights before it was fashionable

We believe in peacemaking, not guilt trips

Questioning, not disciplining

And that the Christian is a servant, not a dictator

And its `love your neighbor`, NOT your banker

And we apologize for EVERYTHING!

We are the largest Protestant denomination!

Jesus`s biggest fans

And the nicest people to eat potato salad with.

I am a United Churcher... and I - AM - Canadian.

by Myles S. Hildebrand from Meadowwood United